


still here

by blueism



Series: Glass. [Dream Angst] [7]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt No Comfort, Pain, but it is obligatory, my rivalstwt heart will feature a part in this fic, obligatory, small one though, so dw, sorta??, technically, this fic doesnt show it too much though, you decide tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29866569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueism/pseuds/blueism
Summary: Dream supposed he deserved to be here, the room seeming to swallow him up as his eyes fought to stay open. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing it; nobody even cared. It’d be so simple to just shut his eyes and let the dark envelope him, like a home. He wished it wasn't so familiar, but it was just the way of the world.OR:Prison angst that does not have current canon events.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Glass. [Dream Angst] [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126262
Comments: 12
Kudos: 174





	still here

**Author's Note:**

> cries in lack of inspiration for the chaptered fic that i avoid thinking about

Dream supposed he deserved to be here, the room seeming to swallow him up as his eyes fought to stay open. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing it; nobody even cared. It’d be so simple to just shut his eyes and let the dark envelope him, like a home. He wished it wasn't so familiar, but it was just the way of the world. 

He could feel the egg snaking around the world more and distantly wondered what they’d be able to do about it after he passed. He was the only one with adequate enough training as an admin anyhow. Phil was more focused on the bugs that plagued everything, not the rare viruses that were hard to find in code and even harder to wrangle into submission. 

Dream wondered why he was still fighting, not when nobody would care if he departed from the world he’d made, not when he’d ruined years of friendships. Perhaps it was always meant to end up like this, he thought mildly, him, lying on the ground just staring at a sight that had long been etched into his mind permanently. He knew he deserved it. Yet, a small part of him still wanted justice. He’d gotten punished, why hadn’t they? Dream had maybe voiced those thoughts. He wasn’t sure what was his mind or what was his voice anymore, really. They were just the same, right? Right?

He wanted to loosen his hold on the world. Perhaps that tether- his mind- that had always held him to the ground of this world finally had loosened, and he was nothing more than a balloon filled with helium, drifting away. ~~He forgot that balloons eventually did ascend to a point of popping, but if he’d remembered, what stage would he have been on, anyway?~~

He wanted to lose himself in the idea that he was nothing but a monster. It’d be so much easier to not actually feel anything at all. Then the rejection on the part of Puffy wouldn’t have hurt so much, right? Then the abandonment of him by those he’d called friends, those he’d spent his childhood with, that wouldn’t have burned so much, right? Then the black that surrounded him wouldn’t make him feel so alone, right? 

Too bad he couldn’t, not with morals and a sliver- not a large one, but a small shred of humanity left in his battered body. Perhaps the day would come soon, where all this longing and ache for something that would never arrive would be ripped apart. He knew there was no hope for it to be filled, anyway. Hope was just a false idea to be installed and then torn away. Maybe like his friendships, but hadn’t he done that himself? He wasn’t sure. His mind was blurring together, and maybe, if it had been clearer, he would’ve thought, finally. But he wasn’t. So he just stared at the ceiling, willing himself to get lost in it and never be found. He didn’t want to be found. 

When he blinked, memories of times long since over flashed through it, and if he’d had the energy, he might’ve wanted to reach for them, perhaps open his mouth to say- to say what? He didn’t know. They wouldn’t listen anyway. Flaws of being human, he guessed. His eyes lingering and savoring the feeling of being closed before opening them once again to be met with black and orange. The colors had plummeted like Icarus to the bottom of his favorite colors. He wondered, laying there when they’d come to take his final life. When they’d choose to finally make him blackout for all eternity. He wondered if they’d revel in it, soaked in his blood. Dream wondered- not for the first time- why he even cared at this point. He’d revel in seeing his blood too. The crimson was a nice contrast to the orange and purple that enveloped him on both sides. He wondered how it would’ve looked like to George. The thought sent a pang through his chest. Dream wasn’t ready to admit some things to himself. Not yet. Not ever, at this rate. 

Dream’s fingers, his hands, his whole body, itched to toss itself into the lava, for entertainment and something to get away from all his physical numbness. Just for a bit, he’d be able to feel warm again. Then, it was all cold again. He’d always disliked the cold. Perhaps that’s why it was poetic, him being surrounded by it like a peninsula. Was it so wrong to want to be seen as a person? Yes, he wanted to reprimand himself, of course, it is, you don’t deserve it, you caused so much pain. Yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. Maybe self-deprecating inches from blacking out- and hopefully dying- wasn’t the best of ideas. 

If he stared hard enough at the shadows gathered in the corner of the room, they could be seen as silhouettes ~~he tried not thinking of how it seemed to be taking the forms of George and Sapnap, they were hallucinations, couldn’t they just go away? They wouldn’t be here anyway, they’d made that clear.~~ Squinting at the liquid dripping from the crying obsidian could be reflected and seen as maybe the light reflecting off of Techno’s golden crown. ~~As much as he had made fun of his friend’s obsession with gold, he’d always liked the crown, not like he’d ever say it, or get the chance to.~~ Dream wanted to let go of everything that had ever hurt him. Everything he himself had hurt. Once, maybe months ago, he’d have hesitated. Now, though? He would’ve smiled if his face wouldn’t hurt from the now foreign expression as they- the hurt, the pain, _everything_ \- drifted off. He’d always liked light. Now, it was just painful. He blinked hazily, and while his mind was once hellbent on… vengeance? He didn’t know what the bitter feeling lingering on the edge of sorrow was. Whatever it was, there was nothing now. A gaping hole left by where his emotions- the things that everyone had said he expressed too much of before he’d ‘changed’, in their eyes, used to reside. They were still there, but he swore that what might’ve been a wildfire once was now nothing more than a pulsing ember, and he wondered if this was that ember finally extinguishing, earlier than it should’ve yet later than he should’ve gotten. 

And as his eyes finally, _finally_ slipped closed for perhaps the final time ~~he hoped~~ , senses numbed from his stay there, he could’ve sworn that somewhere, sometime, there was a shout.

**Author's Note:**

> comment if you liked, kudos and yadda yadda yadda 
> 
> hi


End file.
